![]() “The separation anxiety is like a puppy taken away from its mother and put in the kitchen by itself: it runs around in circles, barks and whines,” Fisher adds. The participants in Fishers study thought about their rejecter “obsessively” and craved emotional union with that partner. This is thought to be why, in a moment of high emotions, some spurned people resort to dramatic gestures to get back together with the object of their desire.Īctive in both the rejected men and women was the nucleus accumbens, a major brain region associated with addiction. ![]() The major brain region associated with addiction is active,” Fisher says.Īt this moment, the rejected lovers experience elevated levels of dopamine and the neurotransmitter norepinephrine, which is linked to raised stress levels and the urge to call for help, according to Fisher. “After rejection, you don’t stop loving that person in fact, you can love that person even more. ![]() When the break-up first happens, people tend to go through what Helen Fisher, a neurologist at the Kinsey Institute, calls a “protest” phase, during which the rejected party becomes obsessed with winning back the person who calls it quits. The surprising benefits of being blinded by love.Is there such a thing as the 'friend-zone'?.Is the pandemic changing our relationships?.But why are we prone to rehash a relationship that failed? Over one-third of cohabiting couples and one-fifth of married couples have experienced a break-up and renewal in their current relationship.Ī feeling that has inspired countless songs, novels, plays, reality shows and films – breaking up and seeking forgiveness is perhaps unsurprisingly deeply rooted in our psychologies. The blurriness of relationships continues even after vows have been exchanged. Almost two-third of college students have had an on-again/ off-again relationship, while half will continue a sexual relationship after a break-up. The desire to rekindle an old flame turns out to be quite common throughout our lifetimes. I’ve deleted his presence on all my social media, and I just know that this is the last time we will be together.” ![]() But our mindsets are too different to begin with and that hasn’t changed. The nostalgia for their happier times soon got the better of her “so I went back again and again. “I missed him a lot and I constantly replayed our happy memories in my mind,” says Yannes of each of their previous break-ups. This time, Yannes said there was no way back. It was the third time the two had broken up in just the course of two months. Along the promenade, the 28-year-old from Hong Kong heaved a sigh of relief and slowly walked back home, with her heart broken. Tears streamed down her face, as Yannes told George their relationship was no longer working out. ![]()
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